A Queen.
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Saturday, 20 June 2015 posted at 05:14 After months of going incognito I finally found the time to blog again, and so where do I start? I'm gonna start how this summer made me see things differently. Before April even approach I know that I'm gonna have one long ass and boring summer because I'm gonna be stuck in school taking advance subjects. Well that was what I thought,until tonight. Looking back now and thinking about all the stress and regrets I went through during those 30 days of summer class, I wouldn't have it any other way. You know I thought, just like my other classmates, that I wouldn't survive that one subject but I did,and God only knows how thankful I am. I realized when you give your best and when you have this mantra inside your head that you can,eventually you will. Up until now as I am typing this entry I can't still believe how beautifully ironic this summer turned out. It definitely thought me things that beaches and parks can't. And the remaining 2 weeks of my summer? God,it was awesome. I did spent it at home and it was more than I could wish for. Tuesday, 17 February 2015 posted at 04:53 I am seriously in need of a looong rest.Ugh.These past few weeks have been a roller coaster for me,I am so stressed,physically and emotionally.And,the fact that my toothache is getting worse isn’t helping,I can barely sleep! I can’t wait for my Friday appointment to the dentist. On the other hand,right now, school is fun and confusing.I won’t say much but jeez,with all these out of the blue smiles and butterflies on my stomach feeling I feel like I’m in a deep shit.I mean I’ve managed to avoid this kind of thing since College has started and now, I am feeling the same euphoria I felt when I was young and dumb and in love,and it’s scaring me.I know I don’t stand a chance but with all these mixed signals he’s giving me I can’t help but to hope.It’s annoying and funny how he can make me happy and mad at the same time, how he can make me think of nothing but him. Friday, 9 January 2015 posted at 04:39
When our Psychology professor asked us to write a moment that made us either extremely happy or sad only one memory came in my mind,and that was seeing him again after so many years.I poured my heart out in that letter,all those pent up frustrations and hurt that I've been keeping all these years.And that phrase above was her reply to me,though I was looking for more elaborated answer (like what should I do or why am I like this) I believe that letter is my cue to finally let go and move on.I can’t remember how many times I said those five words throughout these years but this time there’s something in me that is finally willing to do it. Seeing him made me realize things.That I am the only one who is caging myself in this mundane situation, everything I am feeling is all just because of me.That I am trapped in the past because I keep on feeding myself with memories that aren’t even real since the very beginning.That I am creating my own mess. I misinterpret the attention that he gave me,it wasn't admiration,he didn’t like me,not even a bit,he was just making fun of me.He made me insecure,he made me believe that I am not good enough,and I hate myself for not realizing it back then. If I am important to him he could have contacted me all these years,he could have made a move but he never did,and that is enough for me to know where I stand in his life.I finally reached the point where I grew tired of him,with everything about him.I don’t want to live in a world where there is nothing but him anymore.I am young and there is a world laid out in front of me,I will meet people who will make me feel that I am worth it. The least that I could do for myself and him is to finally accept that what we had was nothing and it will forever be in that way.I hoped for so long and it’s already enough,I am finally choosing to let go,I am finally letting myself to be happy.I don’t deserve this misery and he doesn’t deserve my love.This would be the last post about the only boy that I loved,guess I finally woke from that beautiful nightmare. Thursday, 25 December 2014 posted at 19:32 Me and my elementary friends went to Jazzelle’s 18th birthday and man words aren't enough to express how happy I was that time. I had a nice time catching up with some of my classmates back then who I rarely talk to nowadays and I got to see some people who are a big part of my elementary days,it was memorable for so many reasons.Up until now I can still feel the happiness whenever I recall that night. posted at 04:26 A friend recommended this place called Amo Yamie Crib to me when we saw each other at a party and seeing that it’s close to our school (along Mendiola only) I convinced my friends to go there.The place was cozy and the ambiance was relaxing,but what did it for me was its unique design.They don't have the usual tables and chairs, instead the place was divided into mini cribs where customers sit on the floor and a mini table is placed at the center.Considering that the foods taste good and there are many too choose from the prices are reasonable, ranging from 40 to 130 pesos only.We went there 2 times in a span of only 2 weeks haha. Thursday, 6 November 2014 posted at 04:33 So me and my elementary friends decided to have a little reunion to celebrate mine and Alden’s birthday and as usual,it was a blast.I wouldn't go on details but man it was one of a kind.We talked about anything all night,it was so memorable.I hope the pictures show how fun it was.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014 posted at 23:47 Sem. break started 1 and half week ago and here I am,blogging about my sophomore experience as a college student only now.To be honest,it was stressful yet exciting.Exciting in a way that every morning I am a little excited to go to school (well I can’t say why),it was fun,I felt like I’m in high school again. Prelim to Midterm was okay, though somehow there are days that I will sleep really late just to study for the quizzes,it was bearable.But when the last 2 weeks of Finals came,I finally screamed murder.A research paper,a term paper (with a defense) and a short film made me question myself on what year I am in.I was really in panic mode that I didn't even celebrated my 18th birthday.I remember myself that Monday afternoon going straight to our house after school to research about marginalized people.I didn't even sleep until 11 pm just so I can study in advance for our exams.So when Wednesday came and our defense,film and research was done I wanna cry cause finally,no more requirements to think about.That same day we went to Greenhills to celebrate my birthday ( and it was almost 2 weeks after). And when our grades were finally posted on our portal last October 30,the only words that came into my mind was,worth it. Saturday, 4 October 2014 posted at 06:25 When I read that Greg and Chris would be @ SM Manila for the Ginebra 180 yrs. exhibit I decided then that no matter what I would go.I expected that only few would come cause it was Monday but man I was wrong.Only 100 person was allowed to enter the corded area and get a picture with them,and honestly when I saw how people push each other just to get in the line first I decided that I would not join them cause I might just get hurt so me and my friend just went to a corner and watched,but fate and luck was with me cause when the staffs saw how unorganized the line was they decided to make another line which was just in front of us! Given that we were at the front of the line we really got squished because people rushed just to be included,but a little push here and there was worth it cause we were able to enter the area.We were able to take pictures with them and I was able to tell Greg “ I Love You” and until now I can still remember his reaction,he was shocked but he immediately gave me a shy smile hihi I wish I was able to capture it and yeah,he looked at me and smiled (again) when I called his name just before we go to the stage <3
Monday, 15 September 2014 posted at 04:33 It was the first week of August when we watched the Ateneo-UE basketball match at the MOA Arena. I was supposed to go alone but then I decided to tag Keith along with me so we can have some bonding too then a day before the match MJ called me to ask if I know where he can get a ticket so he can come too and fortunately our P.E teacher still have some,so there. Saw some of my friends back home and we had a little photoshoot haha we went home almost 11 pm Then just last Saturday I went to QC just to see these two <3 We also celebrated Pat’s 17th.It feels so good to be reunited with my old friends. And last but not the least I decided that I need a haircut. Just want to have some change. P.S Midterm is over. So 1 month and 2 days to go then 1st Sem. will be over. Tuesday, 26 August 2014 posted at 03:56 I don’t have any plan to blog today but when I saw the pictures that were taken last Thursday I realized that I want to share my dilemma.My only social media account that is safe from my family and friends’ prying eyes is this blog,so now I’m gonna pour in this post the kilig that I felt that day. I never expected that such thing will happen. I mean kuntento na ko sa patingin tingin lang o bawi ng tingin pag nakitang naka tingin din sya pero shit I never thought na mag kaka usap kame. Oo I know na hindi yun yung klaseng pag uusap na kikiligin yung isang tao pero magiging choosy pa ba ko? At least I know that he knows me,kahit pangalan ko lang.I won’t go much with the details pero hangang ngayon I am still confuse with my feelings,yung tipong alam kong wala na pero meron pa yata?Anyhow here are some of the photos from our little photoshoot last Thursday : P.S The flowers doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m talking about. Monday, 4 August 2014 posted at 05:54 Tonight I just had the sudden urge to blog,maybe because of the rainy weather (that has been going on for the past two weeks)or maybe because I feel like any minute now my mind will explode with everything that’s going on these past few weeks.Prelim has been stressing the hell out of me,too much paperwork,too much report and too much study needed.This week is our prelim exam sched. and I am screaming murder.Memorizing words, definitions isn’t a problem for me,ever since,but Math? God it has been a bitch to me since elementary.I am trying my best to understand it,actually I am doing well during our discussions and recitations but I don’t know why whenever the paper is given to me during exams my mind shuts down the minute I see the questions,and it’s so frustrating cause it’s like I didn’t study about it which isn’t true cause I reserve my 2 hours,2 fucking hours, just to memorize all the formulas,even the simple one.And as I am typing this I just finished reviewing for our Statistics exam tomorrow and I feel so dizzy with everything that I TRIED to memorize.But seriously other than school stressing me I feel like I need a breather with everything that’s going on with my life.The same routine everyday and some people around me are suffocating me.I just want a space.To find what I really want.To do what I want to do. Saturday, 5 July 2014 posted at 05:56 Hi ! This would be my first post since school has started and I’m here to update you on how things have been for the past 3 weeks.So far school is bearable. We just had 3 quizzes this week and 3 projects to be pass on the end of the month and I’m not being sarcastic,actually I’m enjoying it,well except Tues. and Thurs. , why do 12:00 – 1:30 pm classes exist? Actually I’m a little bit under the weather since Wednesday,my cough,sore throat and runny nose sure knows how to make me suffer but I have too much time to spare tonight, so here are some of the photos we took : Laicka’s Birthday: Saturday, 14 June 2014 posted at 01:10 Summer 2014 was nothing but perfect.I was really looking forward to it because College life has been stressing the hell out of me and now I can say that the 10 months of waiting was worth it.I didn’t pictured my summer to be that eventful,I expected it to be the same usual summer that I had,internet 24/7,pig out and not going out the but man,I was wrong.It surprised me in a way that I can never imagine.Too many adventures,too many experiences,too many people and too many blessings that I cant even fathom.One thing that I am so excited about is in 2015 I 'am finally going to see One Direction,even now I cant still believe that I got one ticket for their concert,though they didn’t include a meet & greet (WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER) I am still so ecstatic about it cause HELLO I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS TO SEE THEM AND IT WILL FINALLY HAPPEN,so yey! and yay ! I finally got a laptop and in the brand that I want pa.It's really fascinating how much things can change and happen in just a while,these past 2 months felt surreal,I can now finally say that every summer has it's own story.And till now I am still in denial that summer is over and school will start in 2 days. Sunday, 1 June 2014 posted at 20:37 Arriving at my lolo’s house felt so unfamiliar,I can't even recall a single memory from my childhood visits there,the house or the gate or even the roads,they're all new to me,I guess 8 years of not going to Pangasinan is enough to make me forget.Our first day was rest day cause it was an exhausting almost 6 hours trip from Laguna to Manila,Manila to Pangasinan.3rd day we went to Manaog Church,it was the only place in which I can remember vague thoughts, like its parking,the vendors, it was overwhelming,memories of our family visits there came rushing.5th day,we went to Baguio.I was really looking forward to an uber cold weather,cause hey ! it's Baguio, but maybe because it's summer the weather there wasn't that cold but it is far better than Pangasinan's, I made sure to roll down the windows,and I can feel the air kissing me.Going to Baguio wouldn't be complete if you don't go to its famous strawberry farm at Benguet,so we also went there.I assume that because it's summer,again,not much strawberries are planted,but there were too many lettuce and walking through the pathways did it for me,it was exciting and fun.We also stopped at Dagupan and La Union to buy some dried goods. 6th day we visited the house of our old nanny who passed away 7 years ago.Going there just made me realize how simple life is for other people,how sometimes,life can be hard and cruel to some people,and how lucky I am.Then on our last day we went to San Carlos to buy some pasalubong and to explore the bayan a bit. I know it is only a week of vacation but I feel like we've been there for quite a while,like I can get used to it.I left the place with a heavy heart,wishing I could stay a little longer,up until now I am missing the place,missing how I can forget reality there,nonetheless it was one of the best week of my life. posted at 19:21 We were ditched the last minute by our tour guide so we went there totally clueless on how to go there.The trekking did it for us.It was our first time and though there were too many rocks to climb and too many narrow spaces to pass by it was all worth it when we finally see the falls.On our way back we also saw monkeys,they were jumping from branch to branch,luckily they didn’t jump on us.This was definitely a day to remember.So much happiness.
Saturday, 15 March 2014 posted at 18:21
This happened almost 3 weeks ago and I’m posting it only now .This one was an impromptu but fun nonetheless.We made some graham balls (it’s my first time to make and eat that so hooray!) and the rest of the night was karaoke time while we are exchanging kwento’s. Sunday, 23 February 2014 posted at 21:17 Coming back brought so many memories,all those laughs,hard works and memories I've had for the past 4 years. Seeing my classmates, friends, teachers, old classrooms makes me want to experience it over again, everything seems just like yesterday. I must admit that I feel weird going to Padua as an alumni,I feel like we're gate crashers and I don't know why.But nonetheless it feels good to have a laugh with the people you want to spend your time with,so here are some of the many photos that we took last Friday night : ( pictures credit to Alden and Kiara ) Tuesday, 31 December 2013 posted at 04:01 2013 has been a successful and sad year for me.Successful because I've made it,I achieved half of my goals in life and sad for the same old reason which I'd like to keep to myself.This year made me more responsible,more willing and more rationalize. I was the kind of girl who sets aside her study whenever she wants to,who do whatever she wants regardless of the outcome but now I am proud to say that I did grew up.I am more aware of what I want and what I have to do.If I were to choose 3 memories of 2013 they would be ; This is the start of reality for me.Going on and chasing my dreams.After 4 years of preparing finally,I'm one step away from everything.My High School life has been perfect,the best I could ever ask for.I met new people that eventually became my friends and family.I never expected HS to be that fun,especially my Senior year,it was so genuine that words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for it.Maybe it's too early to say this but nothing can top everything that has happened to me during my HS days,it was one hella ride,with the people I will love and treasure forever.If one will ask me to go back and experience it all over again,I will answer YES in a heartbeat. 2. Relatives coming home for a vacation. My summer life started late,it started June to be exact when my tito's, tita's and cousins went home after almost 3 years.Though I felt like the time I've spent with them is kinda short cause college made it impossible (I only went home Friday then leave for Manila on Sunday) I was able to experience paradise,pure bliss that only my family can give me.Every minute was filled with laughter,and unspoken love and affection for each other.So this I got to say is the highlight of my 2013 regardless of the stress and hustle I experience every time we go out and chase adventure. 3. Going to Uni. Going to Uni has taught me a lot but most of all it taught me how to be independent.I'll admit that at first it was so hard,almost every morning and night I am crying,loathing and questioning myself why did I decided to go beyond my comfort zone,to live a life I know nothing about.Why did I have to resent my parents advice and go on what I want? But as time pass it become bearable,not ok but somehow I got used to it.Waking up,going to school,going home,studying,washing my clothes(every Tuesday and Thursday) eating then sleeping,everything became a routine,everyday become a survival day.I have my fair share of fun but I'm still adjusting to everything, the people around me and the environment I am in. And now that I'm down to my last 3 months as a freshmen I could only wish for more strength. So here’s some memories of 2013 in photos :
Tuesday, 24 December 2013 posted at 06:05 Our Christmas break officially started last Friday (and words aren't enough to express how happy I am) so I went home in Laguna the same day,but of course I had my own last minute shopping first.Then come Saturday is Sir. Marco's birthday.I won't narrate it in details but it was epic with a capital E. Yeah it did felt like a birthday party but more than that I felt like I was in a high school reunion,most of my close friends are there.It's been a while since I've been with them so the feeling was overwhelming.We had so much kwentos to share with each other that even being with them for 5 hours felt like an hour.I admit that it's been a while since I felt that alive and comfortable.So here's some of our pictures : Sunday, 27 October 2013 posted at 07:43 My first post after hiatus will go to my first family in my uni. life. I expected the worst in college, like people not liking me, ignoring me, having no friends or even worse,being bullied but thankfully none of them happened. It’s rare to find people who will accept who you are,who will respect you regardless of your physical appearance or any other things,so I think I'm very lucky to have my B2A family. I wouldn't say I'm close to all of my block mates,in fact i just have 2 close friends and 6 more colleagues and the rest are just classmates,who I talk to and laugh with sometimes, but I feel at ease, I know I have had better sections, but I'm ok with it. The first month was tough,like we wouldn't talk to each other or even say hi,we just have casual conversations, if needed,but then as time goes by,bigla na lang kaming umingay sa klase,bigla na lang may chaos.Even our professors,they’re one of a kind,the kind of professor a student would want to have.I'll miss them all especially our TTh professors.They are all so witty and funny,there’s never a dull moment with them.One minute their serious then out of the blue they'll crack jokes that will make the whole class laugh. I don't just enjoyed our class because of their jokes.I know my 2nd sem. is uncertain.I may or may not have them as my classmates or professors again but they'll forever be in my heart. ◀ RECENT ENTRIES | HOME | OLDER ENTRIES ▶  |
Abigail Baniqued
- dreamer - anything - - occasionally badass -  
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