I do appreciate your being honest with your feeling.But don't worry true love can wait after all,you're still very young.What matters most is your experience,which is vey normal.

When our Psychology professor asked us to write a moment that made us either extremely happy or sad only one memory came in my mind,and that was seeing him again after so many years.I poured my heart out in that letter,all those pent up frustrations and hurt that I've been keeping all these years.And that phrase above was her reply to me,though I was looking for more elaborated answer (like what should I do or why am I like this) I believe that letter is my cue to finally let go and move on.I can’t remember how many times I said those five words throughout these years but this time there’s something in me that is finally willing to do it.

Seeing him made me realize things.That I am the only one who is caging myself in this mundane situation, everything I am feeling is all just because of me.That I am trapped in the past because I keep on feeding myself with memories that aren’t even real since the very beginning.That I am creating my own mess. I misinterpret the attention that he gave me,it wasn't admiration,he didn’t like me,not even a bit,he was just making fun of me.He made me insecure,he made me believe that I am not good enough,and I hate myself for not realizing it back then.

If I am important to him he could have contacted me all these years,he could have made a move but he never did,and that is enough for me to know where I stand in his life.I finally reached the point where I grew tired of him,with everything about him.I don’t want to live in a world where there is nothing but him anymore.I am young and there is a world laid out in front of me,I will meet people who will make me feel that I am worth it.

The least that I could do for myself and him is to finally accept that what we had was nothing and it will forever be in that way.I hoped for so long and it’s already enough,I am finally choosing to let go,I am finally letting myself to be happy.I don’t deserve this misery and he doesn’t deserve my love.This would be the last post about the only boy that I loved,guess I finally woke from that beautiful nightmare.