A Queen.
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Saturday, 20 June 2015 posted at 05:14 After months of going incognito I finally found the time to blog again, and so where do I start? I'm gonna start how this summer made me see things differently. Before April even approach I know that I'm gonna have one long ass and boring summer because I'm gonna be stuck in school taking advance subjects. Well that was what I thought,until tonight. Looking back now and thinking about all the stress and regrets I went through during those 30 days of summer class, I wouldn't have it any other way. You know I thought, just like my other classmates, that I wouldn't survive that one subject but I did,and God only knows how thankful I am. I realized when you give your best and when you have this mantra inside your head that you can,eventually you will. Up until now as I am typing this entry I can't still believe how beautifully ironic this summer turned out. It definitely thought me things that beaches and parks can't. And the remaining 2 weeks of my summer? God,it was awesome. I did spent it at home and it was more than I could wish for. Tuesday, 17 February 2015 posted at 04:53 I am seriously in need of a looong rest.Ugh.These past few weeks have been a roller coaster for me,I am so stressed,physically and emotionally.And,the fact that my toothache is getting worse isn’t helping,I can barely sleep! I can’t wait for my Friday appointment to the dentist. On the other hand,right now, school is fun and confusing.I won’t say much but jeez,with all these out of the blue smiles and butterflies on my stomach feeling I feel like I’m in a deep shit.I mean I’ve managed to avoid this kind of thing since College has started and now, I am feeling the same euphoria I felt when I was young and dumb and in love,and it’s scaring me.I know I don’t stand a chance but with all these mixed signals he’s giving me I can’t help but to hope.It’s annoying and funny how he can make me happy and mad at the same time, how he can make me think of nothing but him. Friday, 9 January 2015 posted at 04:39
When our Psychology professor asked us to write a moment that made us either extremely happy or sad only one memory came in my mind,and that was seeing him again after so many years.I poured my heart out in that letter,all those pent up frustrations and hurt that I've been keeping all these years.And that phrase above was her reply to me,though I was looking for more elaborated answer (like what should I do or why am I like this) I believe that letter is my cue to finally let go and move on.I can’t remember how many times I said those five words throughout these years but this time there’s something in me that is finally willing to do it. Seeing him made me realize things.That I am the only one who is caging myself in this mundane situation, everything I am feeling is all just because of me.That I am trapped in the past because I keep on feeding myself with memories that aren’t even real since the very beginning.That I am creating my own mess. I misinterpret the attention that he gave me,it wasn't admiration,he didn’t like me,not even a bit,he was just making fun of me.He made me insecure,he made me believe that I am not good enough,and I hate myself for not realizing it back then. If I am important to him he could have contacted me all these years,he could have made a move but he never did,and that is enough for me to know where I stand in his life.I finally reached the point where I grew tired of him,with everything about him.I don’t want to live in a world where there is nothing but him anymore.I am young and there is a world laid out in front of me,I will meet people who will make me feel that I am worth it. The least that I could do for myself and him is to finally accept that what we had was nothing and it will forever be in that way.I hoped for so long and it’s already enough,I am finally choosing to let go,I am finally letting myself to be happy.I don’t deserve this misery and he doesn’t deserve my love.This would be the last post about the only boy that I loved,guess I finally woke from that beautiful nightmare. Thursday, 25 December 2014 posted at 19:32 Me and my elementary friends went to Jazzelle’s 18th birthday and man words aren't enough to express how happy I was that time. I had a nice time catching up with some of my classmates back then who I rarely talk to nowadays and I got to see some people who are a big part of my elementary days,it was memorable for so many reasons.Up until now I can still feel the happiness whenever I recall that night. posted at 04:26 A friend recommended this place called Amo Yamie Crib to me when we saw each other at a party and seeing that it’s close to our school (along Mendiola only) I convinced my friends to go there.The place was cozy and the ambiance was relaxing,but what did it for me was its unique design.They don't have the usual tables and chairs, instead the place was divided into mini cribs where customers sit on the floor and a mini table is placed at the center.Considering that the foods taste good and there are many too choose from the prices are reasonable, ranging from 40 to 130 pesos only.We went there 2 times in a span of only 2 weeks haha. Thursday, 6 November 2014 posted at 04:33 So me and my elementary friends decided to have a little reunion to celebrate mine and Alden’s birthday and as usual,it was a blast.I wouldn't go on details but man it was one of a kind.We talked about anything all night,it was so memorable.I hope the pictures show how fun it was.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014 posted at 23:47 Sem. break started 1 and half week ago and here I am,blogging about my sophomore experience as a college student only now.To be honest,it was stressful yet exciting.Exciting in a way that every morning I am a little excited to go to school (well I can’t say why),it was fun,I felt like I’m in high school again. Prelim to Midterm was okay, though somehow there are days that I will sleep really late just to study for the quizzes,it was bearable.But when the last 2 weeks of Finals came,I finally screamed murder.A research paper,a term paper (with a defense) and a short film made me question myself on what year I am in.I was really in panic mode that I didn't even celebrated my 18th birthday.I remember myself that Monday afternoon going straight to our house after school to research about marginalized people.I didn't even sleep until 11 pm just so I can study in advance for our exams.So when Wednesday came and our defense,film and research was done I wanna cry cause finally,no more requirements to think about.That same day we went to Greenhills to celebrate my birthday ( and it was almost 2 weeks after). And when our grades were finally posted on our portal last October 30,the only words that came into my mind was,worth it. HOME | OLDER ENTRIES ▶  |
Abigail Baniqued
- dreamer - anything - - occasionally badass -  
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